Why & How You Should Talk About Money
It's no surprise that money is one of the biggest conflict areas in most relationships. Having money is often connected with stability, security, fulfillment & success; it seems that every area of our lives involves money, too. So, when we struggle with our finances, the tensions seem to run a little deeper.
Why, then, do so many couples seem surprised when they feel like they're not on the same page about money? The answer is simple: it's because they're not on the same page about money--a problem that starts with a lack of financial communication.
Start Talking, Mister!
And you, too, ladies! The key to financial success in your relationship is clear communication. Not having a lot of money. Not rich relatives. It's communication. Financial discussions should happen frequently & even regularly between you & your partner. One good recommendation is to have in depth talks about your money at least once every three months.
That's talking details, too. Talk everyday expenses--the status of accounts, budgets, credit cards & more. Talk about what specific components it will take for you to be financially successful together.
Expectations
So what should you expect to get out of talking about money together? Here are three benefits to start:
- Understanding how the other person approaches money
- Learning how flexible you really are about changing your habits
- Finding whether the two of you are truly financially compatible
And yes, it's OK to disagree. You're not trying to debate your significant other to your point of view. You're talking to find out what works best for both of you & if you indeed can work well together.
Try This
If talking about your finances still seems awkward to you, take a fun approach like a window shopping date. Pick an item that interests you, & ask each other different questions about the object.
- Do you think it's necessary? Why or why not?
- Would you buy it new or used?
- Would you buy it now, wait for a sale, or shop around for a cheaper option?
- Would you splurge on a specific item for special occasions?
- Would you buy items at that price point for family and friends?
You'll be amazed at how one question can easily move to another & onto questions that aren't on this list. Do this a few times, & you'll start getting used to asking the same types of questions for the purchases that you're really going to make.
